im kind of curious to go to a sex club and try it once in my life… but i don’t really want to go by myself.
I stopped dating because it hurt so bad, liking one man, getting hurt, liking another, getting hurt.
It’s like throwing your heart into a meat grinder.
We try to push past all the pain but there’s always that thorn that snags you backwards toward the man who hurt you last.
It’s hard to move on once you’re hooked. And yet we’ll keep marching with all those scars.
I suppose we are at that age when one begins to lose the things we have. Our safety blankets and the people who keep our insecurities at bay. Those who we grew up with and those who make us feel fade away as the sun sets on a chapter of the life that would either be your brightest or darkest days.
I just hate guys of all kinds right now.
Ouch… just fucking ouch. I feel like Im the one you just settle for. But fuck it if thats what i’m going to be. Just watch.
mmmkay so I had a bitch rant about how lonely I am and yeah… two hot guys randomly come knocking on my door.
Thank you jesus.
The sad truth is that I’ve only met someone who felt right to be with once in my life. So I wouldn’t even be able to say that I know so much about that experience, of knowing what’s right or wrong for myself.
So I had a couple friends stay the weekend. The history behind it in reality is that it was a good friend of mine whom although I love him as a friend, I always am curious about a relationship with him. So I’m not quite sure why I felt so befuddled these past few days but it was definitely in and around the feelings of lonely, dejected and lesser.
The guy in my mind was so different than what I had expected of my friend to be dating, but of course to each their own. I suppose it just made me feel as though there was something wrong with me personality wise.
Do I have that bad of a personality when I talk to people that it comes off as unattractive?
-I don’t hit on guys
- I’m always a gentleman
- I always put others before myself
- I like talking about all sorts of things and I generally would say I’m good at conversation
And yet I don’t know, perhaps I’m too much to handle all at once. I just really hate how I felt as though this weekend I had to rationalize why I was single and these two were so seemingly happy despite all the fundamental issues they have of not being able to properly communicate with each other and having so many issues with passing judgement and aggression.
I suppose opposites attract. What is my opposite? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so unlikeable. Sigh.
I’m torn. I feel like I need to change something about myself. But I really just want to be who I am.